Outside the Asylum

This page will probably morph and grow as I think of new, fascinating things about me that might help put this blog in context… if you’re into that sort of thing.

Let’s start with the basics… I’m 30, married five years to my favorite man in the world. We have no kids save for our two dogs – whom I love with all my heart. I’m a reporting analyst by day and an English major at AZ State University by night. Um, let’s see… I’m a Texas native who transplanted to Arizona eight years ago, because I was young and I could.

Here’s what you’re probably really here to find out (at least I have a few more blog posts that make most of this pretty clear, anyway)… I am an atheist. I’m still getting used to saying that about myself, even after all this time. I’m going to go into a rather lengthy description (here, if you’re interested) of my religious background, because a lot of people make assumptions about how atheists ‘decide’ they’re actually atheists, and I’d rather not be lumped into some random generalization… I am my own person, and I made my own decision. If you’re not interested, I just ask that you refrain from sharing any preconceived notions with me about how and why I believe what I do. Hold them if you will – that’s your decision. I just don’t want to hear them .

The short version is: I did not choose atheism because I was disillusioned with organized religion, or because it was easier to justify loose morals (the two most common preconceptions I’ve come across). I didn’t choose it at all. It is an awareness that I can’t take back.

I understand what a great comfort God can be. I understand why people hold to religion so dearly. But what religious people need to understand is that it needs to be an individual decision. I was given the choice between two Christian denominations as a child, but I know for certain I would never have been allowed to stop going to church altogether. I was indoctrinated into Christianity from birth, and if I had ever talked to an adult about questioning the existence of God, I would not have been encouraged to explore why I questioned; I would have been told to fight Satan and pray harder.

But don’t take anything I’ve said to mean that I’m not at peace. Now that I’ve started thinking for myself, using reason, logic and evidence, I feel more content with my life than I had for many years. (Click here for a more poetic version of what I am trying to say).